There is this adage that says birds of the same fathers flogs together. How true is this statement? Young adults need to understand the full import of the kind of people or friends they mingle with.
Your friends define you no matter the angle you want to look at it. If you have friends who smokes, definitely on will conclude that you are also a smoker. Even if you don’t, they will coerce you into smoking. It takes ‘strong will’ to resist peer influence.
Just yesterday, my husband and I were reviewing our activities and involvements during our youthful days. I am not the outgoing type. I don’t make so much friends. Throughout my secondary school days, I only had one friend. My university days, I only had a friend too. And now, just one friend too.
I take time to choose my friends. You must be kindhearted, serious minded and above all intelligent to be called my friend. Both male and female alike. This really guided and help me a lot in the processes of growing up. My mum use to tell us to do away with any friend we are not comfortable with. There is this song in my dialect which goes like this.
oyi meta onye dimma enyioo .
oh meta onye dimma enyioo,
oh meta onye di mma
ina eme onyi
mata onye dimma maka oluluooo.
.This song is simply advising you to choose good friend having marriage in mind.
So I tell my own kids and young people who I come across and who care to listen.
Whatever we do now will definitely come back to haunt us in the future. So please dear adorable youths, safe guard your future by choosing wisely the kind of friends you keep. Anyone that cannot have a positive impact in your life. Please delete them from your list. Make friends with people who will help improve your life, people who have something good upstairs to offer, people who will inspire and motivate you, people who will propel you to greatness, people who have the same dreams and aspirations with you even more, people who are passion driven, people who are conscious of their environment, people who care about their spiritual life. The list is endless.
If you happen to find yourself in the midst of bad and negative people, this is what you have to do to save yourself from sinking with them in their negative actions. Have a DISCRIMINATING MIND. What do I mean by this, ask yourself what am about to do, to what benefit is it? Will it improve my life or academics or spiritual life? Or will it destroy me? If you sit back to ask yourself this questions, it will help you not to act on the spur of the moment, and will help you to get a better judgment of the situation.
This particular aspect help my husband greatly as a youth. While in the university and up till this moment, he never smokes, drinks, nor womanize in spite of the fact that he had friends who indulge in these. He uses this act of Discrimination a lot, he actually taught me this. In University Port back them when he was studying sociology and combining it with his photography which he used to train himself, girls used to flock around him and seduce him into sleeping with them so that they can get free shots, trust girls now. What he did back then was to tag all Uni Port girls as ‘ashawo’. My apologies her to all ladies who passed through the school. This was just what he tagged them in his subconscious mind. So he began to see them as ladies who wants to pull him down so that he will not achieve his dreams. That way he was able to resist them. After graduation, he used his car to run taxi business. He never allowed those touts at the park to influence him and change his life aspirations and dreams. He kept his mind constantly on his goals not wavering nor changing due to hard times and tortures of life. Though at a point he felt he has lost it, that he won’t become a rich man, he won’t be able to travel to all and around the country on business trips until I came along, we discovered each other. This was when I was also having it rough with life. Because we share the same principles about life and have the same drive, we became a formidable force that catapulted us into where we are today.
To the glory of God, we might not be that wealthy, but we are comfortable. We can afford the basic needs of life and we are moving higher. My husband has been to at least 8 countries in the world.
This is the dividend of choosing your friends wisely.
Friends can either make or mar you. There was this girl in my village back then who lost her life because of what her friend did. there was this guy who came to ask her hand in marriage. Ngozi, for that was her name told her girl friend who became jealous. She took her to a spiritualist in the guise of trying to help her. After a few days she became mad and started chasing after his fiancee each time he sees him. by the time the cause of her masdness was discovered. she died. this is what bad friend brought to beautiful and nice Ngozi.
I urge you my dear young ones, keep your goal in life in mind while choosing your friends. Move with success, stay, dialogue and mingle with intelligence and wisdom. Don’t settle for less. ‘After all, if you marry ugly woman. Dem no go less money for you’.