It was time for me to leave for Cross Rivers for the National Youth Service. I made the preparations with joy and excitement, but my husband had this feeling of loss looming all over him. If it is possible for him to stop me from going for the NYSE service, he would have done so. But so unfortunate, the program is a compulsory one for all Nigerian graduate, home and abroad. Thanks to the person that introduced this Scheme in Nigeria, otherwise I would have been stuck up with these inconsiderable man that calls himself my husband. I thought to myself.
Wow! I like this breaker in my life. As it were, this past months I have been married, had got me all twisted up that I don’t know what to believe about marriage anymore.
Plans for my movement to Calabar, Cross River State for National Youth Service began in top gear. The night before my journey, I went into serious argument with my husband over the amount of money he should give to me for the period of time am going to stay before my ‘allowee’ will star rolling in. he insisted that he has no money and that I should manage the little he gave me and if peradventure the money was not enough for me, that I should go down to his village in Imo State to get money from his parents.
“What are you talking about”? I asked him. “You mean I should go to your parents in the village to ask for money when am supposed to be the one giving them money? This is unbelievable. I don’t think I can do this, you may have to think of others ways of getting money across to me” I concluded.
That was all I said, and he started his allegation of how am planning to pull him down and many other nasty things he said to me which I can’t say here now for the sake of morality. He really has a stinking tongue. As a matter of fact, it runs in their family. They don’t think twice before they abuse someone. The kind of words that come out from their mouth can propel one to commit suicide.
My husband’s words were so hurting that I couldn’t control the tears which I have been trying so hard to suppress. I cried throughout the night. But it never bordered him. Early in the morning, I got ready to leave but to my surprise he didn’t talk to me. He just said ‘bye bye’ uncommitted and went back to sleep. This action of his threw me off board and i went into another round of weeping, yes, this time I did not just cry, I wept as I tried to carry my heavy luggage alone, and in my condition, to the road where I can get a bus to the main park.
I was terribly hurting. I can never imagine that I am embarking on this long journey without my husband as much as see me off to the bus stop. ‘Where has our love gone to?’ I wept some more.’ Where has our happiness gone? Why can’t someone marry, be happy and stay happy?’ at this point tears were rolling so freely down my cheek but I hadn’t the zeal to clean it off talk more suppressing it. I didn’t care anymore. Let people wonder why a young pregnant woman embarking on a long journey is crying her heart out. Let them guess, let them assume, let them speculate for all I care. At this moment, all I want is for the tears to roll and my grief lessened or if possible completely removed. But none of them inside the luxurious bus l find myself in would be able to help me.
I sat at the window side of the bus because I knew I couldn’t stand any disturbance from anybody. The man seating next to me constantly casts a wondering glance at me, but I never cared.
I was to go first to my Alma Mata, Nnamdi Azikiwe University to get all the documents I need for the National Youth Service. ‘But how can I go to my school in this state am in. what answers do I give when my course mate and others ask about my swollen and red shot eyes?’ I asked myself.
At this point, I remembered my brother in-law, my husband’s younger and only brother who stays at Nnewi. I heaved a sigh of relief. Yes this is the best thing to do I said to myself, somewhat excited by the thought that I finally have someone I could talk to, to narrate my story to and who could be of help.
‘I will go straight to his house and spend like two days to recover from this trauma I find myself into. With this taught in my mind, I slept off.